A Comforting Presence

Whenever we first got home from the hospital with Noah, Danielle’s mom Sophia, stayed for a few days to help us get settled in. After she left, we had about 3 days to ourselves then my mom, Julie, came in town for a few days. These moms were just awesome while they were here.  They would cook, clean, hold Noah when we needed a break and do basically anything we asked of them. Wanting to get the hang of things we didn’t ask them too much to help with Noah, since we wanted to figure things out kind of on our own. We would ask them questions here and there and they would basically be there to encourage and support us in anyway we needed.  They also took the pressure off of us worrying about simple household things like what was going to be for dinner so we could focus on adjusting to our new life style.

My mom came in town on a Friday and the original plan was for her to stay through the following Wednesday, since I had to return to work that Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. We had planned it this way so Danielle would have help since it would be the first time I would not be there to help her, my mom could help if needed. Julie ended up leaving Tuesday before I went to work, since basically, Danielle didn’t need her help. Danielle had gotten Noah on a pretty set feed/awake schedule, so my mother figured why not save the time off from work so she could come down later in the year. As sad as it was to see her go, Danielle knew she could handle that Tuesday night by herself. She had no idea she was in for one of the most stressful nights of her life.

While working my nightshift at the hospital I received a number of stressful text messages from the new mother at home. They started out simple from “The dogs have so much energy tonight, they won’t slow down”, and progressed to “I don’t know whats wrong with Noah tonight, he wants to eat every 30 minutes and won’t stop crying” and finally at 1:00 in the morning, “The washer overflowed, our hallway is flooded, dogs barking, Noah crying, mommy crying, please come home.”

Needless to say my amazing coworkers worked it out so I could go home and help stop the house from totally collapsing.

--In the end, all is well, Danielle still has her sanity and we just need to replace hallway floorboards.

Go figure that would happen the first night Danielle is by herself. Nothing would have really changed if someone had been there to help calm the crisis, but there is just something comforting about having the ability to ask someone for help. Even though the madres (that’s mothers for my non-espanol speaking amigos), didn’t directly assist us too much with Noah those first two weeks, their presence was comforting to us, knowing we could ask them at any point. I experienced the same thing whenever I got off my preceptorship as a nurse at the hospital. I was paired with a preceptor on dayshift for 6 weeks, then one on nightshift for another 6 weeks. After the total 12 weeks, you are on your own taking your own patients and being 100% in charge of their care. During the first few shifts when you are on your own, they try and arrange your schedule to work the same nights as your preceptor. They do this so the new-nurse feels more confident knowing they can still ask their preceptor questions if need be.

Anything that we go through in life, is always a little bit easier, knowing that someone is right there with you. Danielle and I have been dating/married for 10 years now. We have been through a lot together. We grew up together. We found out who we are separately, yet together. I know that any problem I have in this life, she will be there for me.  Danielle likes to refer to her relationship with God as a friend who always has her back. Through the moments of our marriage when we were worried about finances, jobs, and just the general direction of our life, we know that God is always there right beside us, as a comforting presence.  Most people are familiar with the story of Jesus walking beside a man on the beach with the footprints

I experience this with Noah as well. There are times that all he wants is to be held. He doesn’t want to be wrapped up snug in a warm blanket and put in an automatic rocker. He wants the touch. He wants to know that we are there with him. There is something about our comforting presence that keeps him at peace. This is part of what the bible verse, “Faith like a child” is referring to. When Noah is held, he has the faith that everything will be ok, simply because we are there with him.

Ps. I have misspelled the word, “presence” 5 times this post and spell check had to correct me every time.

A Simplistic Sense of Wonder

I believe the time lapse between this blog post and my last speaks perfectly to the naive preconception of living with a newborn which I had. Although these past 5 weeks have been loads of fun they have also been filled with loads of hard work and busy days.  When I find time between work, yard work, tag-teaming waking up with Danielle, and making sure the dogs don't run a complete muck in the house...I usually end up not wanting to think to much to sit and write and would rather just sit and be with my family. Hopefully, over the next few days I can post a few more blogs here.

There are numerous things the Mancub has taught me during his time with us. The first one being the simplistic nature of his innate desires.  All this little guy wants is to be fed, be clean, be warm, and be loved. Literally... thats it. Figuring out which one of these desires he wants is easier said than done sometimes. It's amazing that even as his cognitive processes slowly begin to develop, the natural way his body lets us know want he wants. Danielle has already mastered the apparently 400 different blends of cries he makes, which signal different things. "That cry means he has to burp and feels miserable right now, but wants to eat after he burps, "That one means he is frustrated with his hiccups and just wants to sleep", "That one means he's angry at you for waking him up"  

Even though the pitch/tone/length of cries seems complicated to me (not Danielle), the needs that those cries represent is in fact extremely simple. It makes me wonder at what point in our lives do the simple necessites in life stop being enough for us. It is no longer enough to have a full stomach, clean clothes, warm house, and to be loved. We have to have everything bigger and better than we had before. We can't just be thrilled with having a cell phone anymore, we have to have the cell phone, which is also a gps, laptop, camera, english-german translator, recipe book, coffee shop locator, and of course at the very least...AngryBirds compatible. When did enough not become enough?

In the book, Ragamuffin Gospel, author Brennan Manning speaks of how we are cheating ourselves from the glory and love of God because we have become complacent with the things he has created. If we were to "slow down and smell the roses" if you will, we would learn to appreciate the wonder that is our Creator. It's possible to become more spiritually moved while watching a thunderstorm than watching a preacher from a pulpit. As Rabbi Heschel puts it, "As civilization advances, the sense of wonder declines." As I was watching The Sandlot yesterday, I remembered this qoute during the scene where the boys were standing in awe watching the fireworks display. The look of wonder and amazement on their face. For that moment in their lives, time stood still as the stood in awe of something bigger than themselves. I'm not sure kids now-a-days would react the same to a fireworks display.

I see this same look of wonder in Noah's eyes sometimes when he wakes up, or hears our voice and turns towards us. It's like every time he opens his eyes, it is for the first time, and he's taking the moment all in. Maybe thats why so many people our enamored with babies, they are in awe of their happiness and innocence. I think sometimes when people hold a baby, that innocence makes the person feel better about their life.  Danielle and I constantly talk about how we believe that having Noah makes us want to be better people. I think we feel this way for a number of reasons, but one of them being as Danielle said, "Whenever I hold him, I just realize what is really important in this life, and I don't worry about the little things as much"

My old college roommate Nathan Hoag used to say that one of the keys to happiness is to live a simplistic life (while he voluntarily lived out of a tent for an entire school year). I believe this is true, proven through the eyes of a 5- week old baby.